


Wings

by qunimees (rqyh)



Series: Reaching for the Skies (YakuLev Week 2016) [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bullying, Edit: lmaooo I forgot to tag this as angst, It was an experience, M/M, i didnt even know i was being bullied then lol, jfc i give up, might be a bit weirdly written since the last time i was bullied was when i was like six, theyre in colleg btw, yeah colleg that is a hundred percent right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-08 02:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7740454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rqyh/pseuds/qunimees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And then Yaku heard it: the sniffles, the muffled sobs―</p><p>Yaku looked up to see Lev crying, face scrunched up in hurt and confusion, but trying desperately not to show it.</p><p><em>Oh no.</em> Yaku felt guilt stab into his chest as he realized what he had just done.</p><p>-<br/>In which Yaku's insecurity grows almost as quickly as his boyfriend does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wings

**Author's Note:**

> Day Three: Burn and Hurt/Comfort

HEY, YAKU-KUN. Isn't your boyfriend that _really_ tall freshman from Russia?"

Yaku looked up from where he was frantically shoving his binder into his sling bag (rather aggressively as he had dropped it a number of times and was starting to get frustrated at not being able to do such a simple task.)

"Uh," Yaku said to his two classmates. They were looking at him as if he were either the last piece of meat on a barbecue, or Suzuki-kun, that one freshman who made a very bad decision of tripping over his own shoes at freshman orientation.

Yaku had never actually spoken to either of the pair in front of him, who have now seemingly found new interest in Yaku. One reason may or may not have been the fact that these two had a reputation of being absolute and utter _assholes_.

"Yeah?" he said, mentally thinking of a way to leave the scene without pissing these guys off and becoming their permanent target of teasing, the position of which currently being held by poor Suzuki-kun.

"Don't you find the height difference a little weird?" asked the other guy, whose name was Ren-or-something.

Yaku furrowed his eyebrows at Ren-or-something.

"No? There's nothing weird about it." _I really need to leave now._

" _Ha_ , really? Literally everyone thinks so, though," said Ren-or-something's friend, Yato-or-other. "Compared to you, your boyfriend looks like a fucking giant."

Yaku felt himself tense up.

"You're practically an ant. I mean, you were already small to begin with, but next to him― _pff_ , god, the both of you look ridiculous!"

Ren-the-asshole started laughing then, actual tears forming in his eyes that Yaku wished he could've caused with a black eye.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Asshole Ren said, putting a hand out, catching his breath. "Have you seen the way the _hafu_ would bend down just to talk to Yaku?"

Bastard Yato burst into laughter. "Oh my god, he always looks like his back's gonna break at any moment! Oh my god, oh Yaku-kun," he said, patting Yaku's shoulder, "if only the two of you shared the same height. You seriously need it, man."

"Yeah," said Asshole Ren. "The two of you look ridiculous together. Especially you, Yaku. You look even tinier with him around."

The two of them left laughing together, calling Yaku various names he had heard of already and leaving Yaku to burn in shame and embarrassment at their words.

Lev was walking next to Yaku, a spring in every one of his steps and humming a song that he probably heard on the radio.  Yaku _hated_ it.

He was starting to get affected by the things he wasn't usually affected by before. The tiny laughs people tried to hide but failed. The way they just took one look at Yaku and then at Lev, and then just started laughing.

Lev didn't seem to notice any of it, but Yaku was practically _seething_ on their way to Yaku's next class. At least that was something his boyfriend noticed.

"Yaku-san, are you okay?" Lev asked, bending down to get a better look at his face. Yaku heard another stifled giggling and glared at Lev. "You look pretty angry."

"I'm fine," he said, in between his teeth. "Just... could you stop bending down just to talk to me?"

"How else am I supposed to see your beautiful face?" Lev laughed, and in any other moment, Yaku would've felt his heart flutter in his chest, but now was not any other moment.

"Lev, I'm serious," Yaku said, not able to hide the bitterness in the tone of his voice.

The smile on Lev's faltered. "And so am I. Yaku-san, can you please tell me what's bothering you? You're not usually this angry. I mean, you're always just a tiny bit angry―"

"What, because short people are always so _fucking_ angry?" Yaku snapped. "Maybe I wouldn't be if I weren't dating a fucking _skyscraper_ , of all things."

A flash of hurt appeared in Lev's eyes, and suddenly Yaku was being pulled into a corner where there was no one there to disturb them and Lev asked,

"What happened?"

Yaku glared at something in the corner. He couldn't deal with this.

"Yaku-san."

 _Ugh_. "Someone made fun of my height, okay? That's it. Nothing else."

"You wouldn't be acting this way if it was just that, Yaku-san," Lev said, and Yaku couldn't see whatever expression his boyfriend was making as he was too busy not looking at him. "We've been dating for three years. I know you. Something like that wouldn't rile you up to this extent. There's something else, isn't there?"

Yaku mumbled something.

"What was that?"

"I'm just _frustrated_ , alright!?" Yaku shouted, unable to handle it anymore. "Every time I speak with you, I always have to look up and you always have to look down, and people have been staring at us since you came to university, always pointing out how small I am, and how tall you are, and how I look like a little shy princess standing next to you!"

"Yaku-san, that's not―"

"Not what? Not _what_ , Lev? Not true? Not true that people have started making fun of me more ever since you came into the picture? Not true that standing next to you makes it harder for me to convince others I'm not that short? Not true that some days I look at you, and just wish to be even just one centimeter taller? And that those 'some days' turned into 'most days' ever since you followed me to university?

"Do you know how it feels like to have to look up every time I have to talk to you? Do you _know_ what it's like to be constantly seen with someone who's so much taller than you? Someone who always has to to bend down just to look at you? Whose constant presence is like a fucking slap to the face?

"It wasn't _me_ who was given the height I wanted. It wasn't _me_ who was given a privilege to have a body to be proud of. It was you, Lev. All _you_.

" _You_ get too be confident because you've got a body to die for. _You_ get to be all happy and smiles about everything because you were lucky enough to be born this way!

"God _damn_ it, Lev! Ever since I started going out with you, I've been constantly reminded of the height I don't have!"

And then Yaku heard it: the sniffles, the muffled sobs―

Yaku looked up to see Lev crying, face scrunched up in hurt and confusion, but trying desperately not to show it.

 _Oh no_. Yaku felt guilt stab into his chest as he realized what he had just done.

Lev was crying. Lev was _crying_ , damn it.

"But..." Lev tried to stop himself from letting out a sob, but it went out anyway, arms furiously trying to wipe away the tears that ran down his cheeks. The tears Yaku had caused to flow. _What kind of boyfriend am I?_

"Lev, I―"

"But isn't that why I'm here, Yaku-san?" Lev asked, trying for a comforting tone that only came out as a sob.

"I―what?"

"Isn't that why I'm here? To give you the height you don't have?"

Before Yaku knew it, Lev was lifting him up by the armpits, Yaku instinctively wrapping his legs around Lev's torso, and Yaku was reminded of that afternoon in Nekoma's locker room, where Lev lifted him up the same way he was right now. It was the first time Yaku didn't mind being treated like a child, because it was also the first time Yaku said his first "I love you."

Lev had been laughing then. And Yaku had been smiling.

How on Earth had it gotten to the point where the both of them were doing neither?

"Look, Yaku-san," Lev said. "Can't you see it? I can carry you up higher than anyone else. I can be the remaining centimeters you so desperately want. Isn't that why I'm here?"

Lev was crying, even then, tears falling down his flushed face and dripping down to the concrete floor. But he kept speaking. He kept trying to reach out to Yaku.

"You're probably never gonna grow taller, and you're probably never gonna get the height you want, but that's why I'm here, Yaku-san. To lift you up higher than anyone else so you won't have to stand on the tips of your toes just to get a better view.

"I'll carry your burdens. I'll take half the load. If it takes you even a little closer to the sky, I'll do it.

"I can be your wings, Yaku-san. I can be your wings so you won't have to grow any."

Yaku felt the tears waterfall down his cheeks, heart heavy.

How could he be so selfish? So caught up in the things he didn't have that he had forgotten the things he _did_? He had _Lev_ , damn it. And Lev was worth _so_ much more than a mere two more centimeters.

"Can't you see it, Yaku-san?" Lev was saying, eyes still trained on him, eyebrows still furrowed in a desperate attempt to convince him. "Can't you _see_ it?"

"I see it," Yaku sobbed, a hand coming up to his face to muffle the sounds. "I see it, Lev..."

Lev pulled Yaku towards him, hugging his boyfriend tighter.

"I'm sorry, Lev," Yaku whimpered, resting his wet face in the crook of Lev's neck. "I'm sorry for saying such horrible things."

"It's alright, Yaku-san," Lev said, comfortingly. "You were just caught up in your emotions, is all."

Yaku felt another wave of tears forming.

"How can you forgive me so easily?" Yaku sobbed. "None of what I just said was justified. None of what I just said had a valid enough reason to be said, whether I was caught up in my emotions or _not_."

"Well, that's because I love you," Lev said, patting Yaku's head again, "and I know that you love me, too. Even if you hurt me ten, twenty, or even thirty times, I know that the first thing you'd do afterwards is tell me sorry. So it's fine, Yaku-san. Don't feel bad, okay?"

Yaku whimpered at that. _Lev_ had gotten more hurt than Yaku did. And yet _Yaku_ was the one being comforted. Yaku didn't deserve him. How on Earth had he ended up with someone like Lev?

Yaku pulled away so he could look at Lev's face, which was flushed bright red and still covered in now-drying tears―tears that Yaku had caused.

Lev was everything to Yaku. Lev was everything Yaku needed to wake up in the morning. Who cared about how ridiculous they looked together? Who cared if people made fun of them everywhere they went? Yaku had Lev, and that was more than enough for him.

"It's not fine..." Yaku mumbled, still stuck on Lev's previous statement. He reached up to cup Lev's cheeks, and leaned in to kiss him on the lips, a promise to never, ever make Lev cry again. Not once, not twice, not thirty times.

When he pulled away, Lev was grinning up at him, and Yaku felt a surge of heat burst inside him, a burst of burning flames, reminding him of how much he loved his boyfriend, and how much his boyfriend loved him.

Yaku leaned down again to pepper the entirety of Lev's face with kisses, hoping to replace the saltiness of his tears with sweetness of his lips.

"That tickles, Yaku-san!" Lev giggled as Yaku pressed a kiss to his cheeks, below his eyes, forehead, temple, nose, and once more on the lips.

"I really _am_ sorry," Yaku apologized again, because once just wasn't enough.

"And like I said, it really _is_ fine," Lev reassured him, a fond smile on his face.

"I don't want to do any more to hurt you."

"And you won't!" Lev answered, simply. "You love me too much to do that."

Before Yaku could respond, Lev put him down, turned his back to Yaku, and then crouched down on the floor. He turned his head to face Yaku and, grinning, he said,

"Get on my back, Yaku-san!"

"... _Ha_?" Yaku responded, oh-so intelligently.

"I told you that I'd carry you, didn't I?" Lev grinned at him again.

Yaku was astonished.

"Y-yeah, you did..." But Yaku didn't know he had meant it literally. (He really hoped Lev would stay on the figurative with becoming his wings.)

"What are you waiting for? Come one, I'll carry you to your next class!"

And with that, all of Yaku's insecurities and doubts and hesitation diminished completely, because Lev was just being Lev―his friend, his kouhai, his skyscraper of a boyfriend.

And it didn't matter that all the students and professors who passed by started staring and laughing at him because, well, when Lev carried him up like that, Yaku was certain that he was the tallest person in the room.

 

**Author's Note:**

> agckkkk this was really not what i was planning at all there was supposed to be other stuff and background stories and stuff and ughh
> 
> but this is fine, i suppose. better than what i used to write anyway *hides all the oc penguin stories i made as a child* ahhh so much angst i love it
> 
> Edit (04/08/17): one kudos away from 100!!! TWO hits away from 1000!!! Aaaaa


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